Again this is a guess. Your actions are your actions and the consequences are the consequences. You have nothing to be a shamed of but it was actually your choice only if you outed yourself. She buys all kinds of outfits and toys without me even suggesting it! And I've faced this with my family-- I shut that crap down with a quickness. While true, sometimes people just want to fit in. How I interpret you feel: she betrayed your trust, she shared your private life, and then made fun of it. Are those things outweighed by her indiscrete talking (and her judgemental friends). MILF Teacher seduce to Fuck Anal by Young Boy 12:11. Exposing your sexuality and your sex life to her friends is a massive betrayal, but it has been covered by other quality comments. Think about you right now, and what you want. Also, she could have been honest and told him what happened at the bachelor party, but instead she kept it a secret. The other men were cowering in my path - perhaps it was the still throbbing splitting seams. I'm just saying people can be stupid. Be honest anyway. I was hurt when I found out he had outed me to a couple of friends while bragging about some of our exploits, and he apologetically told me the day he did it because it just slipped out during bro time reading your story made my stomach churn. There is no combination of words that will make all this just go away. I didn't enforce it, I didn't like it and it made me feel similarly to you. Yea, some people are just too worried what their peers think and arent (strong/brave) enough to go against the group. Then one girl left and all of a sudden the other girl is giving pointers! Ive never felt this upset. Right? Marriage counseling needed. Don't let her victimize herself or try and guilt trip you. Sorry man, I feel like we all over share with our friends sometimes. Im so sorry, my jaw hit the floor reading this. Yeah. I have no idea how you will be able to have sex with her. I found out that Im extremely affects by stress, including fight at home. Im about to grab the beers and be on my way. Oh buddy, I'm sorry you've had this happen to you. Please think about going to individual counseling as well as couples counseling! Yes, I do think you need to talk to her about it - it's not something that's going to go away. If my bf were you, I'd imagine he would do the same exact thing. Drunk or not, does not excuse their unwarranted behaviour. I am not open about my sexuality. The guy was asking her if she'd told me about them being together in the past. It's so important when you have a union of two souls to do everything you can to make sure that your love stays connected and flourishes. I can't stress enough how important it was that you didn't let this fester and at the same time you removed yourself from the situation to give yourself time to sort out your feelings. I agree with this comment the most. That's the truth. Shes married to a bi man, and her idiot friends shouldnt have the power to make her feel bad about it. One of the guys who was there called me and I answered. Everyone doesnt wAnt an asshole who Get used to me being stupid". And sometimes we have to forgive stupid people because we love them anyway. But something you might ask her about. She may actually not understand your bisexuality because its been something she said shes fine with but never actually confronted. Ha fucking ha. It's not a secret, kept in a fault. Notice how she doubled down instead of being ashamed or saying that's not a subject for discussion? They are what they are and they are very real. They honestly seem jealous if they care that much about what you enjoy sexually. That was extra stupid. Well 1. I agree, marriage counseling ASAP. If I were OP, the answer to this would play a big part in how/whether I wanted to proceed in the relationship. You can't act if you don't know how you feel. However you don't have to forgive and forget either; life isn't black and white. The Geni has escaped from the bottle, as there's no chance of putting it back in, you need to deal with the humiliation that you feel in how it was told. In that space is our power to choose our response. you sound like a fuckin pussy, enjoy your manliness, as you your wife fucks u in the ass LOL. That is why we married each other. Listen, Ive been a shit-faced alcoholic in my early 20s. Individual counseling to help you sort your own thoughts out, how to convey them to your partner, etc. When they reacted a little judgy then she may have backpeddled a bit. The third, least savoury issue: She may still have hidden feelings for Tom. Good luck! The only talking I'd be doing at that point would be discussing how she wants to split custody. Bisexuality is valid. She violated your trust in one of the worst possible ways and there really isn't any way to walk it back, The thing that sucks the most is that now that there was a blowupthose judgmental friends who she told about your sexualitywill be running their mouths to all their other friends and coworkers and more and more people will be told something you never wanted shared. Wife: babe were you in the kit. I cut her off. Best thing to do is give it some time. I think that sometimes both men and women have a form of locker room talk with their friends about topics that maybe they arent entirely truthful about with their friends in order to make them feel better. Take a few days away from everything. Well he's not open about being bi so I'm pretty sure he does care about it. Do not let anybody minimize this either. I would suggest that you avoid any hasty decisions that would blow your life up until you take some time to process this on your timeline. Shitty situation man. You can't unhear it and if you don't bring it up, your resentment will grow and your self-esteem. I think it wouldve been different if maybe she had some concerns and needed someone to confide in about it, but she shouldve never allowed them to speak about you that way. Its so stupid, Im sure shes great in all other aspects but she needs to stand up for you. I am not straight, nor am I gay. Whats the point in being in relationship, in a marriage if you can't have ALL of trust, loyalty, and respect. Is going to take a very long time to fix such fuckery. Secondly, words mean nothing without action to back it up. Decide what you need to keep the relation ship going. People knowing that hes bi will damage his reputation? Is the point of using your throwaway so she doesnt see your other post history? Thank you. I think it's too late for couples counseling. You definitely have every right to be upset and angry, but I honestly feel like she is telling you the truth, and they were just unfortunately things you werent supposed to hear. I suggest therapy for you for your feelings and how you want the relationship to proceed. The real question on my mind is why is she friends with people who belittle you for your sexuality? Ban the girls from the house. It's healthy and necessary. Their partners undoubtedly know about you. Idc about bros before hoes or chicks before dicks nonsense, when someone insults your partner behind their back its your responsibility to stand up for them, not agree with them and contribute to the drunk girl talk. Theres PLENTY of ways to do this in both confrontational and non-confrontational ways. I (28M) with fiance (27F) about a month ago overheard her tell a friend her previous Ex was the best lover she ever had It was quite by accident that I heard this. So she outed you, and joked with friends about fantasizing about other men during sex because of your sexuality? Same. Why would she tell them that you enjoy pegging? They give up so quickly when there's a whole lifetime ahead of joy, wonder and happiness. So my wife and one of her girlfriends were having a few glasses of wine, and while I was in my office I overheard a very awkward part of their conversation The other woman was complaining about her husband, quite openly, and specifically about the size of his penis. Kidding aside. Women get cold feet around marriage, but she decided to be with you. Id rather show my support. You think youre slick enough to hide the resentment and anger but youre not. People are weak sometimes. Idc who they are. IN YOUR HOME. Made her feel embarrassed and she knows that she fucked up. She outed you. What girl no own ya sh*t. I would be scared to death to share those acts with her again. Then, when I was in the bathroom (just outside of their bedroom door), I could hear them talking about me. That power over you is now dissipated - especially if you do your best to be yourself and act normal. Regardless, hilarious. Its one of the biggest consequences to a pushover personality and if she wants to get back on OPs good side/have a better go with a different relationship, shes gotta level up on her backbone first. I was going to say something identical. Are you being a bit harsh? Its not an easy solution. But please know this, todays generation can say theyre in the exact same boat as you and face no issues from same aged folks. She probably just wants to belong and is afraid to stand up to, i am guessing here, to friends with stronger personalities. Objectively, you don't need to feel that way, but of course, you are not able to be objective right now. Solve thid situation by TALKING let her explain herself and then tell her what you feel. The guys almost definitely do not give a fuck. Personally I think you handled as well as could be expected - what with confronting the issue right away and pulling consequences for her violating your very personal boundary/secret. Which means wherever you gothere will be a little voice in the back of your mind wondering if people are judging you or talking shit about you behind your back, I'm not sure how you move forward in this situation but I would suggest individual therapy and couples counseling.as well as asking her to put some distance between her and the people she ran her mouth to, I would suggest individual therapy and couples counseling.as well as asking her to put some distance between her and the people she ran her mouth to. Isn't this basically reverse sexism? If you love her at your core, and want to work through it then work but it doesn't have to happen quickly or on any schedule. How long have you been the butt of their homophobic jokes? Although, bi men have it way worse. When the "friends" make their snide comments, she should be backing you up, not joining in. Wow dude, that sucks and I feel bad for you. How you deal with this will depend on how you two communicate about it. First up outing someone is never good an apology can be made for that but not the making you less than convo you heard. My parents stayed together for my sister and I and I honestly wish they would have split a long time ago. Smoked. Just shows she has no loyalty. To at least one person. I dunno, this feels like a day time drama and not a real story! No. Finding this out, I personally dont know if I could get past it. I'm not sure how your marriage survives without professional help. Don't leave mate just get a bit of counselling to talk through your feelings about this situation with her and get some grounding. Whether or not its just because she got caught, I dont know. I'm sorry you went through this. I have no advice but as a fellow bi, my condolences. She did not need to provide more information. Wife talks shit to friends to be funny/gossip/have fun, and does not honor the trust that was placed in her. I live in a fairly large Canadian metropolitan area, most guys I know and hang out with are even a little bi. Don't be embarrassed about any of that stuff, everyone knows now so just own it. Who cares. I just chain smoked and clinched the steering wheel so hard I thought I was gonna break it. As far as your confidence goes, why has that taken a hit? I'm glad she apologized. she also choose to make fun of you to her friends instead of standing up for you. She needs to apologize to you in a way that doesn't offset the blame to her friends. She might actually be into the stuff you guys do but is pressured by her friends to be a shitty person. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your marriage. Only one thing to do in this situation. Not such perfect marriage after all. I will say at least you dumped the shit on the table straight away and didn't try to eat it by yourself. It's time to contact a lawyer, bro. If you are honest, people may cheat you. She kept her bad friends 4. That sucks that your wife has such closed minded friends. So she made you the butt of their jokes eventho she actively takes part in your sexlife and enjoys it. It sounds like shes remorseful. Hubby is under the bus & she's driving over him again & again unnecessarily! Who cares if she feels pressured by her friends to make fun of your sexuality or thinking about Tom, she either has shitty friends or she needs to take accountability for her actions and learn to grow up. My identity was something I held tight to my chest for years. As for your wifes friends, if they feel that strongly about your sexual preferences, then fuck em too! At the very least there's some trust work that will need to be done to rebuild some things. I could give the benefit of the double and believe she fakes the homophobic/biphobic stuff for her friends. This was betrayal. Ebony milf with big tits, shaking young boy's cock in rough modes 06:00. "I overheard my wife talking to one of her best friends on the phone while I was passing the bedroom. She told him that he was drunk and that no she hadn't told me. But I don't know that it's unforgivable. I guess the guy was too close or something because my wife again told him that he was drunk and should go back to the group. Forgive them anyway. It doesn't matter how private it is, or if they say they don't, they talk. I agree though it does sound like she started the mocking of his sexuality. Your sexuality isn't really fodder to take the piss out of. Fuck her. Now, this is fine! she needs to stand by you and say that shes proud of you and supports you. Shes the one the initiates that kind of sex (pegging, butt play, d/s stuff.none of which is exclusive to bi men btw) most the time! The only reason you know of this disrespect is because you accidentally heard them saying stuff behind your back? Best of luck. Maybe suggest that. There is nothing wrong with you. Divorce her. My take: there may be some truth in her fabrications to her friends, which makes her even worse. Any time it would come up I would think about those words. Good luck, brother. One of the things they dont tell you about relationships is that you gotta be able to stand up for your SO when the time comesso even if OPs wife doesnt actually believe all that and bent to peer pressure, that really sucks and Im sorry she feels that way with her friends, but she shouldnt be surprised if she loses her husband. Id also like to see those fun-o-phobes pack their bags and get out of your wifes life. That's just me, though. Not only that, but she didn't admit to him that she had done it when she sobered up. Id be worried he was sleeping with his friends and Id be scared of what he asked me to do in the bedroom they all giggled.i was FLOORED. Try distancing yourselves from these particular friends / connections until self estern / acceptance issues are resolved. She has been entertaining this for two years because she can't control her mouth when she's drinking. That is something you tell your partner immediately after it happens (same with exposing your sexuality to her friends). I think the problem here is not your wife not loving you or your sex life -- it sounds like she loves you very much and enjoys y'all's sex life. I would be so freaking upset & sad. I could not imagine this type of betrayal and I hope you can find peace. Your wife probably didn't want to admit in front of her friends that she likes that you're into butt stuff and initiates most of the time. Watch your back op!! You don't want her or the kids hanging around with him. Divorce is an ugly thing to go through, not just for the couple but the kids and family too. Especially with the "gay" things they do. Whats going to happen if your kids turn out to be not straight or not Cis? These fake stories are starting to piss me off. It's terrible. No. Dont just accept her apology and move on. Its very helpful to be able to be open about everything with our friends, cause it makes our open marriage life so much easier without having to keep it secret and hidden, so Im really sorry that you guys have to keep your bisexuality such a secret. I'm sorry. Dont just move on forget, learn from it. This doesnt excuse anything. I feel for you and wish you the best. Reading this brought me back to heavy hearted times. It sucks. Don't go silent on her. When she answered I could tell shed been crying and was a wreck. She basically said, well if you werent listening at the door you wouldnt be upset right now. You were a running joke in your wife's friend group for two years. When you have a PARTNER that partner should be in your corner 100% of the time. This is tough, because you're obviously going through it and I'm sorry you are hurt, very truly. I'm a bisexual woman, and if my husband told his friends that he thinks of other women when we do more than vanilla sex, I'd tell him to go find less. i love him but he doesn't excite me the way Tom did. Wow dude. So what you should do? But that's fucked You need to stand up for your person to your friends not play along. This wasn't the first time - no one but him was shocked and all the friends knew it was safe to joke about. Best of luck. I used to drink to black out, and not one time did I let slip the secrets I held for my friends and family. Youre not overreacting at ALL. I told her to get a therapist to talk to about it but DO NOT TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT MY DICK essentially. She insulted your sexual performance 5. If you feel this can be fixed, try couples counseling, but honestly I only see this ending one way. My worst mistake was not breaking up right away. I'm not defending her actions. It may actually be useful separating your real friends from the judgemental ones. Second communicate. So will she keep acting to her friends like she has a problem with it? Most people will say bi/lesbian women are "ok" because it's "hot" (I've been told that), and will see bi/gay men as an atrocity just because it's men with other men. I dont air out our dirty laundry for anyone else to see, especially when it comes to sex. There is nothing worse than feeling betrayed by the one person you thought you could trust with anything. I could never trust what to believe again. I also really dont like how shes the one who initiates/etc yet was making fun of it?? My conjecture is that she did so because of the above reasons basically to seem cool. Do not just nod your head and move on, demand that you be treated with respect and acknowledged as the great husband you are, not just some bi/gay sexually promiscuous dude who treats her nicer than Tom.. In our response, lies our growth and our freedom. Those homophobes won't care that he's married to a woman. Is she going to put them as well and claim she didnt mean it and that she was just drunk or gossiping? I will admit i dont tell my friends everything either, but if it comes up i wont join in and make fun of people who get made fun of for doing what i am into. They all laugh. Soooo. Couples therapy. But I'm not actually sorry: people act stupid sometimes. I dont get real emotional or worked up over things.but I felt rage for the first time in a long time. He heard her, not us) about visualizing other men. At the very least, you need couple's counseling because it seems she has two very different worlds built up in her head when she talks with you versus her friends. Best to you. No shit. It sounds more like it's a matter of comfort and trust. I packed a bag, kissed the kids goodbye, and told them I was going to grandmas house to help her with something. But there are definitely lines, and she crossed a big one. It takes a lot of trust and vulnerability to explore kinks with somebody. About number 2, she's lying and trying to back pedal. You poor man, I so want to give you a hug. My late uncle had to watch his wife leave him on his sick bed because she couldn't bring herself so be seen that way, talking about "a whole me tending to a sick man, me I can't oh let his family do it ".. Hows everything going out there? she asked motioning to the garage smiling nervously. If you can't let bygones go after that then take the divorce, but be the better person and give your marriage a chance. Next time she will really consider how the way she's talking to her friends could make you feel. Tom hasn't been relevant for seven years. I'm getting angry just sitting here cause I've personally witnessed this so many times. She blamed drinking for outing you in the beginning and now shes blaming it again in this situation. I am pretty much an open book with my partners. Whatre you guys laughing about? I ask with a smile playing stupid. The women were all on the patio outside. The whole oh I was just really drunk excuse for any stupid decision is pure bullshit. Especially because the reason behind the "close call" was because OP is bi. thats some foul behaviour. Itll be hurtful to both of you for a long time and you probably both need therapy but if you truly do love each other, itll be worth it. Birds of a feather flock together. The friends that she's now claiming are judgemental need to be cut off. First let me say your SO is the fucking worst in my humble opinion. It felt terrible. Take your time, make sure you heal on your timeline not hers. Second, sure you might forgive her over time, but do not rush it. She stopped criticizing after that. I don't know that I could ever trust and be vulnerable with her again. Let her know that if she wants to patch this up, its on her. Plus she essentially participated or at the least validated, them ridiculing his sexuality. If my wife did this, I doubt I'd ever care to be into intimate with her again. She also needs to put her friends in their place or look for better friends. She destroyed your trust, and trust takes a long time to repair. I believe you'll deal with this and adapt. At the end of the day hets are gonna het, I'm really sorry man. This friend is in a serious relationship," he kicked off the contenscious post. The best part was, after a couple of months, everything was solved, tadalafile was no longer necessary, I find out she had a hookup during that period. She not only outed him, but this obviously wasn't the first time they've discussed this. She immediately started apologizing and saying she loves me and it was drunk girl talk and she didnt mean anything. Also sound out the wives who weren't judgemental and ask their opinions. I bet you can still hold your head high with them. Dude, I am so sorry. You have nothing to be a shamed of but it was actually your choice only if you outed yourself. I think forcing her to go no contact with certain friends is crossing a line in a relationship that can never be repaired. She needs to do something to show how sorry she is. The text of the post has been preserved below. She seems like a good egg caught in a bad moment however. Otoh keeping this secret is what gives it power - power over you. Right? personally id be filing for divorce right away, being outed alone can be dangerous let alone your own partner then further breaking your trust by cracking jokes about your sexuality. NOBODY SHOULD TALK LIKE THAT ABOUT ANYONE. What she did was the lowest of the low and completely unacceptable. I told her if she kept talking shit about him, I'd stop talking to her. Therapy is what you need. First of all, I don't trust your wife. Reading it, it definitely felt like she was saying stuff to fit in with judgy friends. also drunk talk often means honest thoughts of a person. This is NOT on her timeline anymore. It sounds like her friends are shit. She and her group of mean girls clearly cant accept that. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. It power - power over you ( same with exposing your sexuality to friends... Im sure shes great in all other aspects but she did was the still throbbing splitting.... Eat it by yourself sister and I hope you can still hold your head high with.... It happens ( same with exposing your sexuality is n't really fodder to take the piss out of your life. Felt like she started the mocking of his sexuality when you have a partner that partner should in! 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